Listen close....monuments are whispering your name....

-Matt Wertz, Capitol City

I have listened to this song about a thousand times (at least), and a few weeks before I left for Denver, it came on one day while I was driving to work. It was like I heard that line for the first time. The Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Listen close...monuments are whispering your name, Lauren. But they’re in Denver. And you have to step out to experience them.” 

Monuments have long been significant to me. Sometimes they’re called Ebenezers, which is Hebrew for “stone of help.” The idea comes from the Old Testament, where Samuel set up a memorial of stones as a marker that the Lord had been faithful to them. It was to serve as a reminder of His faithfulness, so that every time they saw it, they recalled to mind how good and faithful He had been to them. They could tell their children and their children’s children about a time in history when they were rescued when every thing seemed hopeless. 

Over the past 7-8 years, I have made it a regular part of my life to have my own Ebenezers. Sometimes it’s a piece of art, or a piece of jewelry. Most recently it’s been a tattoo. (Surprise! Some of you didn't know that). But each thing has represented a season of my life that I can look at and recall God’s goodness and faithfulness and sweetness and kindness to me, even when it wasn't comfortable. Plus, any time anyone comments on it, I can tell them of His faithfulness to me. But the main purpose is for me. To remind myself of my history with Him. And His history with me.

So that’s the back drop of why that moment in my car was significant. Why, in the middle of my day, while I was rushing to work and thinking about my night ahead, I was stopped in my tracks. He was making a promise to me. That whatever lay ahead in Denver, there were monuments there. Big moments. Life markers. Significant things that would mark me forever. Things I would look back on and say, “I was never the same after that.” Those moments were and are beckoning me. I don’t even know what all of them are. But I know that I have to say yes to Him to get them. I have to say yes, no matter if it’s uncomfortable or even painful. Sometimes the yes is easy and fun and I laugh as I live it out. Other times, the yes is weak and I’m crying as I live it. Either way, He loves my yes. Revelation says that His name is Faithful and True. I know this, not just because it’s what the Bible says, but also because I have experienced it. And if I forget, I have an Ebenezer to remind me. 

There has been laughing and crying as I have transitioned to life in Denver. Yes, it’s been hard. It still is in a lot of ways. But I have recently been reminded that it is an honor and privilege to be invited to Denver by God Himself to help establish His presence here. To lay a foundation for a church where people will be healed and set free and restored. Family lines will be changed. He will be ministered to and His people will be ministered to. I was invited to be a part of this and it’s a honor. Literally, He invited me to Denver. People did not. No one on the team was asked to come by another person. Every one was invited by God. Last night, He spoke to me that not every one who follows Him was invited to this specific thing and there is a weightiness that comes with that. I (and the whole team) must steward it well. I felt the fear of the Lord on it because we do not want to waste and squander this. He will give it to someone else if we don’t steward it well. 

And so far, I think we’re doing just fine. 

You’re worthy of it all, for from You are all things, and to You are all things, You deserve the glory...

Transition. It’s been rough, to put it mildly. Almost everyone on the team has had a tough transition to Denver. I have been no exception. Pain, disappointment, and confusion have all been my main emotions, with a measure of heartache thrown in. Many things have not looked like we thought they would. They’re not bad...just different. It’s a weird thing and I feel so complicated, because I am genuinely LOVING Denver. I don’t want to be back in Dallas right now.  Colorado is beautiful and there is a newness here that is so refreshing. Maybe because of the fresh snow that is on the ground every morning. Maybe because there are mountains on the horizon. I am so happy to be here and there have already been plenty of laughs. It comforts me that everyone else tells me to just weather the yuck because the other side is coming. I’ll drink to that. (Kombucha, of course...I’m in Colorado). 

My friend Lorisa gave me good advice. “Let it be hard. It’s okay that it’s hard. Be gracious to yourself. It’s okay that you’re feeling what you’re feeling.” Michael (my pastor and good friend) keeps saying to just weather it and be sure not to waste this. Because it is producing faith in me, which results in praise, glory, and honor unto the Lord (1 Peter 1:7). He keeps saying that there is freedom to process what I need to process. I’m glad I have a leaders like that. I’m in a really unique and God given season of life. I’m in freaking Colorado and I’m not going to squander that. 

And that’s where the above song lyric comes in. A couple days ago, this theme broke out in a prayer set. The truth is, He is worthy of it all...all the uncertainty, all the pain, all the tears, all the laughter, all the joy, all the peace, all the discomfort, all the energy, all the time. He’s worth all the snow and cold and crappy parking (I’m looking at you, Denver). He’s worthy of it all. He’s worth getting up early for, and He’s worth staying up late for. And it won’t always be hard. I’ll drink to that. 

Just be. Those are the words the Lord keeps whispering to me. He spoke to me this morning and said, “Why do you constantly invalidate yourself? Where did you get the idea that what you think and feel is not valid? Because you sure didn’t get that from Me.” The truth is, I don’t know where that comes from. I can only assume it’s from the pit of hell itself. And I should treat it that way. It’s okay to just be. Cease striving and just be. I wrote that on my hand this morning to help me remember. 

Danny Silk says, “To get the peace that passes understanding, you have to give up your right to understand.” That quote keeps popping into my head. Lack of peace and rest is exactly how I’ve been feeling since I got to Denver. This morning, I laid down my right to understand. And I know that lasting peace is coming. 

Many of you know that I LOVE sunsets and sunrises. Like, I take great delight in them and they stir my affection for my Creator. I have countless sunset and sunrise pics on my phone. When I look at the pictures later, they all look the same, but in the moment, I always think that it’s truly the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. 

As I watched the sunset this evening, I felt His delight and affection. And yes, even a little bit of the peace that has eluded me for a while. Then it occurred to me. 

His peace often hides in the places that I love and enjoy and run to the most.

It pleases Him for me to take delight in something He created. Maybe it’s running for you. Or sewing. Or playing music. Or listening to music. Or having a cold beer. My friend Autumn (who just moved to Denver, too) has found peace in the mountains for years. A few years ago, she was visiting the mountains and spending time with the Lord and He spoke to her that she needed to make it a habit to go to get refreshed in the mountains. He knew that He made her to delight in the mountains and get refreshed there, and she needed to make the effort to get to that high place. In essence, He brought her to Denver just because He loves her. And I am certain that He does things for me, simply because He loves me. That's reason enough. In fact, somedays I am convinced that He rose the sun just for me, because He knows I love it. 

We all have things that bring us peace and refreshment. Most of us have more than one thing. Tonight it was the sunset. Tomorrow it may be something else. Whatever it is, I think it’s important that we are intentional about it. 

I am so thankful for the team I’m on, here in Denver. Our hearts are truly knit together and I could not ask for higher quality friends. If it’s true that you become like the people you spend the most time with, then I am glad I spend a lot of time with these people. There’s no one else I would rather be like. They love really well. And they love when it counts the most. And most importantly, Jesus loves on me through them. 

I’ll drink to that.